Swear Down
(an impossible performance)

Swear Down is a text, to be read aloud. It was commissioned as an 'impossible performance' for Sampled 2013, at Cambridge Junction, where it was performed by Hana Tait.

"This is a show for one male performer. It doesn’t matter what he looks like but he should preferably be mid-thirties. And he must be male.

The performance is comprised of different sections, each with a different audience set-up.

The first section is for an audience of 5000 and will take place at the O2.
Ticket price includes a meal and a drink.

In the centre of the stage is a kitchen island unit – as on a TV cooking show. The performer enters the brightly lit stage. He has a head mic on. He welcomes the audience and asks 'Anyone hungry?' He announces he’s going to demonstrate how to make a very simple rustic meal of fish and bread. There are large video screens overhead showing the detail of what he’s doing.

He uses 2 red snapper and makes 2 ciabatta from scratch.
When the food’s ready, the performer asks someone from the front row to come up to try it. The volunteer tries it on camera and seems to likes it. The performer then announces 'Grub’s up!' and the audience are invited to come up to the front and be served a portion of the food. There are no extra supplies of food – just the 2 fish and the 2 loaves. It takes a while, but there’s an orderly queuing system and everybody gets fed – all 5000 of them..."

[extract from complete text]

Image © Claire Haigh

© Claire Haigh